John Blackwood: Being a good neighbour

The importance of good neighbours and communities is the focus for this year’s Scottish Housing Day, which takes place on Wednesday 17 September 2025.

Scottish Housing Day is an annual event which aims to raise awareness of the challenges and successes in Scotland’s housing sector and this year they are encouraging a nationwide discussion on the importance of good neighbours and how they can bring a sense of well-being and contribute to living well in our homes.

The term “good neighbour” often conjures up images of warm-hearted people sharing sugar or keeping an eye on each other’s property while away. Yet, in an era dominated by digital connections and social media, we seem to be increasingly distant from the very essence of what it means to be a good neighbour. While traditional notions of being “neighbourly” often focus on the immediate, everyday gestures of kindness, the true art of neighbouring goes far beyond pleasantries. It is about establishing trust, forging relationships, and integrating into the social fabric of our communities.

My own journey in being a good neighbour started somewhat differently. My first “home of my own” was renting a small tenement flat in the middle of Edinburgh. One day, on stepping outside my flat door, I met my neighbour grappling with moving a sofa on the stair landing. Keen to offer a helping hand, I welcomed them to their new home, only to discover that they were moving out, not in. Though 28 years ago, I still remember the shame of realising that after 4 years of living there, our paths had never crossed, let alone had we exchanged a “hello” on the stair. I guess it was then that I realised I needed to work on my “neighbouring” skills. 

In his seminal work A Nation of Strangers, Vance Packard explores how modern society, particularly in urban settings, has created a culture where people, despite living in close proximity, remain isolated from one another. This phenomenon is often summed up by the adage “tall fences make good neighbours,” an idea that, while grounded in practicality, has come to symbolise emotional and social distance. Over time, people have retreated into private lives behind metaphorical and literal fences, exchanging only cursory interactions or none at all.

Yet, Packard’s commentary, although relevant, misses a crucial point: people can and do connect in ways that transcend simple etiquette. In fact, fostering meaningful relationships with those who live next door can be one of the most enriching aspects of our lives. But how do we get there in a world where digital interactions have often replaced face-to-face conversations?

The digital age: embracing connection and building trust

In the age of digital communication, it might seem like our ability to connect with others has been hindered. We can easily “like” a post or comment on someone’s story, but actual, face-to-face interaction with the people who live next door can feel awkward or even unnecessary. This digital landscape, however, doesn’t have to be a barrier. In fact, it can serve as a tool to strengthen relationships within our communities.

Imagine you are new to a neighbourhood. The first awkward moment of meeting your neighbour can feel tense. You might shy away, unsure whether to strike up a conversation or simply pass by with a polite smile. Yet, as the days go by, those shy nods begin to evolve. With time, you find yourself exchanging “hellos,” followed by casual chit-chat about the weather, or perhaps sharing views on neighbourhood Facebook or WhatsApp groups. This is the beginning of neighbouring—not just being neighbourly in the traditional sense, but actively engaging in relationship-building.

Over time, these interactions become more comfortable. The small talk might turn into the sharing of useful local knowledge, like the best routes for avoiding traffic or recommendations for a good plumber. Eventually, you might find yourselves exchanging grumbles about life’s inconveniences, telling jokes, or sharing useful advice. This simple, gradual process is what helps to build trust—a foundational element of a cohesive, supportive neighbourhood.

Overcoming the initial hurdles

The awkwardness of initial interactions is something most of us experience. However, research consistently shows that, even in the most urbanised and busy environments, the process of getting to know those who live nearby is essential for personal well-being. According to the World Values Survey by the Policy Institute at King’s College London, people who have strong relationships with their neighbours report higher levels of trust, community participation, and personal happiness. It’s clear that taking the time to “learn to chat to neighbours” can offer tangible benefits, fostering a sense of belonging that transcends individual households.

Learning to “neighbour” also requires overcoming the barriers that may exist in the private rented sector (PRS). Many people mistakenly associate home ownership with stable, long-term community involvement. However, research shows that good neighbouring can be just as common in rented properties as in owner-occupied homes. Renters may not have the same long-term investment in property as owners, but they still contribute to their neighbourhoods by forging meaningful connections with others.

The role of landlords in promoting positive neighbourhoods

While it’s easy to assume that neighbourhood cohesion relies solely on personal initiative, landlords can play a crucial role in fostering a sense of belonging. Landlords, particularly those in the PRS, have the ability to support strong, cohesive neighbourhoods by encouraging positive relationships among tenants.

A proactive landlord can help facilitate good neighbouring by providing clear guidelines for respect and cooperation within the community, offering tenants information on local events, and even promoting neighbourhood initiatives. In doing so, landlords not only ensure that their properties are well-maintained, but they also contribute to the overall well-being of the neighbourhood. This is not easy as many landlords will testify as to how difficult it is to mediate the often, conflicting lifestyles of tenants and neighbours. I know, as I share that pain, but nevertheless, it shouldn’t stop us trying. It’s important to remember that good neighbours are people, regardless of their homeownership status.

By focusing on relationship-building, landlords can help create environments where tenants feel connected, supported, and safe. Whether renters or homeowners, everyone benefits when we collectively embrace the art of neighbouring. After all, the success of a neighbourhood is not determined by property ownership—it is defined by the interactions between people.

The power of neighbouring: more than just “hello”

The shift from traditional “neighbourly” interactions to more intentional neighbouring offers an exciting opportunity for communities to thrive in today’s complex world. Small changes, like exchanging a friendly nod or having a casual conversation, can build the trust and connection that make neighbourhoods feel like home. Whether you own or rent, good neighbouring isn’t just about the structure of the property; it’s about the people within it. And in the end, those who neighbour well are the ones who create the most resilient and supportive communities.

So, let’s take down the metaphorical fences and embrace the small, yet meaningful steps that lead to more connected, happier, and healthier neighbourhoods. In the process, we can all become confident, engaged neighbours—helping to foster trust, understanding, and a collective sense of belonging. 

I am pleased to report that my steep learning curve has led to a greater understanding of the benefits of developing trusting relationships with neighbours. After all, one day they might be the helping hand we need.